BioWare According to Mom

Mom: wrex is so funny
Mom: im glad i took him
Mom: him nd beans
Mom: who did u take
Reg: Kaidan and Wrex. You should take Javik next time, he’s a riot through the archives.
Mom: haha wrex is tryin 2 take credit 4 all my kills hes lucky i like him so much

You like him the most and we all know it.

Mom: but thats me!
Mom: :-O
Mom: im evil???????
Mom: im a clone???
Mom: miranda???
Reg: Are you okay?
Mom: they cloned me!!
Mom: at least beans loves me best
Mom: goin 2 kill myself i guess
Mom: there can only b 1 shepard

8D

Mom: !!
Mom: lol!!!
Mom: teh little guy w the pizza
Mom: thats so funny
Mom: this is pretty funny 4 mass effect isnt it
Reg: At the risk of ruining everything, it gets even funnier.
Mom: how do u beat the little guy w a pizza??

I should go. I should go. I should go.

Mom: the guy were after is dead
Mom: u no
Mom: i think brooks did it
Reg: Why?
Mom: she had teh opportunity
Reg: Unless he was already dead?
Mom: i guess
Mom: theres some1 talkin 2 me now
Mom: another person who wants 2 kill me ud think they would learn
Mom: beating him will bef un

They never learn.

Mom: did u no there is an atm
Reg: Where? The party? I didn’t.
Mom: i hackd it
Mom: got money
Mom: i didnt think id be able 2 thats pretty clever

You’re a criminal.

Mom: ok reg im confused
Reg: By what?
Mom: how i do this part
Mom: the cameras keep seeing me??
Mom: nd the guards
Reg: It’s a bit tricky, but I know you can do it.
Mom: i want my tactical cloak back it makes this stuff so much easier

It took her a long time to figure out how to get through this part. 30/40 minutes? Something like that. Finally! Something she isn’t good at.

Mom: Are you going to watch me play since you’re home today?
Reg: Er, I was going to sit downstairs and muck about on my laptop.
Mom: Okay. It would stress me out if you were here.
Reg: …but I’ve watched you beat each of these games.
Mom: I know, but it’d be weird. I can text you from up here.
Reg: But that’s weird.

Then she gave me a Mom Look and it was the end of the conversation.

Reg: [picks up phone] Hey, Mom, what’s—
Mom: There’s a varren named Kroger!
Reg: Oh, you found it!
Mom: Is that just a weird coincidence?
Reg: Bet on him!
Mom: I did. I just lost— [sucks in a breath]
Reg: You okay?
Mom: Nice beans.There’s a varren named nice beans.
Reg: Yes. Yes, there is.
Mom: Did your friend Patrick do this?
Reg: It was a joint effort between him, Jos, and a bunch of the other devs.
Mom: Tell them they’re very ni—No, Nice Beans, why did you lose?

Thank you, dev team! <33

Mom: nice beans nd i r goin on a date
Mom: we look v nice
Mom: i make his mandibles hit the floor
Reg: That’s all lovely, but you should go play the varren racing game now.
Mom: ??
Reg: Just go inside and race some varren.

I’m glad you like his tux, Mother, but varren.