BioWare According to Mom

Things my mother has to say about BioWare's Dragon Age and Mass Effect games, from text conversations to phone calls to observations.

Dragon Age
Female human noble rogue
Female city elf.
Tag :: Dragon Age According to Mom

Dragon Age 2
Female mage
Tag :: Dragon Age (2) According to Mom

Mass Effect
Female infiltrator
Tag :: Mass Effect According to Mom

Reg: Hey, have you picked your party for the last leg yet?
Mom: n
Mom: ??
Reg: Grab EDI.
Mom: ok
Mom: y??
Mom: :-(
Mom: poor edi
Mom: im not going 2 let that clone hurt my crew
Mom: even teh robot

Even the robot.

Mom: i dont sound like that!!!
Mom: lol
Reg: The fact that you use “lol” never ceases to horrify me.
Mom: lol i SHOULD go
Reg: Wait, you know where the shift key is?
Mom: of course i do
Mom: i should GO
Mom: I should go

my entire life has been a lie

Mom: new it
Mom: the minute she insulted joker i knew she was bad
Mom: decent ppl dont liek joker

…so if any of you don’t like Joker, don’t take it personally?

Mom: wrex is so funny
Mom: im glad i took him
Mom: him nd beans
Mom: who did u take
Reg: Kaidan and Wrex. You should take Javik next time, he’s a riot through the archives.
Mom: haha wrex is tryin 2 take credit 4 all my kills hes lucky i like him so much

You like him the most and we all know it.

Mom: but thats me!
Mom: :-O
Mom: im evil???????
Mom: im a clone???
Mom: miranda???
Reg: Are you okay?
Mom: they cloned me!!
Mom: at least beans loves me best
Mom: goin 2 kill myself i guess
Mom: there can only b 1 shepard


Mom: !!
Mom: lol!!!
Mom: teh little guy w the pizza
Mom: thats so funny
Mom: this is pretty funny 4 mass effect isnt it
Reg: At the risk of ruining everything, it gets even funnier.
Mom: how do u beat the little guy w a pizza??

I should go. I should go. I should go.

Mom: the guy were after is dead
Mom: u no
Mom: i think brooks did it
Reg: Why?
Mom: she had teh opportunity
Reg: Unless he was already dead?
Mom: i guess
Mom: theres some1 talkin 2 me now
Mom: another person who wants 2 kill me ud think they would learn
Mom: beating him will bef un

They never learn.

Mom: did u no there is an atm
Reg: Where? The party? I didn’t.
Mom: i hackd it
Mom: got money
Mom: i didnt think id be able 2 thats pretty clever

You’re a criminal.

Mom: ok reg im confused
Reg: By what?
Mom: how i do this part
Mom: the cameras keep seeing me??
Mom: nd the guards
Reg: It’s a bit tricky, but I know you can do it.
Mom: i want my tactical cloak back it makes this stuff so much easier

It took her a long time to figure out how to get through this part. 30/40 minutes? Something like that. Finally! Something she isn’t good at.

Mom: Are you going to watch me play since you’re home today?
Reg: Er, I was going to sit downstairs and muck about on my laptop.
Mom: Okay. It would stress me out if you were here.
Reg: …but I’ve watched you beat each of these games.
Mom: I know, but it’d be weird. I can text you from up here.
Reg: But that’s weird.

Then she gave me a Mom Look and it was the end of the conversation.