BioWare According to Mom

Things my mother has to say about BioWare's Dragon Age and Mass Effect games, from text conversations to phone calls to observations.

Dragon Age
Female human noble rogue
Female city elf.
Tag :: Dragon Age According to Mom

Dragon Age 2
Female mage
Tag :: Dragon Age (2) According to Mom

Mass Effect
Female infiltrator
Tag :: Mass Effect According to Mom
Posts tagged "grissom academy"
Asker thessalian Asks:
Quick query: did Reg!Mom!Shep send the biotic kids to the front line to be artillery squad, or did she put them in support roles?
biowareaccordingtomom biowareaccordingtomom Said:

Support roles, I believe. Yep, support roles. I have a text reading:

im not sending any kids 2 the front line

Followed by a frowny face.

Mom: got all the students out
Mom: even unicorn
Reg: Unicorn?
Mom: jacks idea
Mom: getting tattos 4 the kids
Mom: rodreguez gets a unicorn
Reg: Good for you, getting them all out alive.
Mom: y
Mom: im glad theyre ok
Mom: u said its good 2 go there
Reg: To Grissom? Yes. If you wait too long, Cerberus gets everyone.
Mom: :-O
Mom: im glad i got them

And once you do Horizon, I’ll tell you what would have happened. :3

Mom: haha i wish u cold c this
Reg: What?
Mom: u no in grissom u can use an atlas
Reg: Yes.
Mom: i got out right in a doorway
Mom: nd now another atlas is trying 2 get in
Mom: but it cant get around the 1 i left
Mom: its stuck
Mom: :-)

I.

I must try this.

Mom: ok so
Mom: they want rodrigiz 4 phantom
Mom: i fought those
Reg: Yes, you did.
Mom: they r cerb thigns
Reg: Yes, they are.
Mom: so cerb wants 2 take these kids
Mom: buthcer their brains
Mom: indoctrinate them
Mom: and make them monsters
Reg: More or less.
Mom: where is there base
Mom: im going 2 show them y no1 messes w commnder shepard

Well, thank goodness you got to Grissom in time to save Jack.

Mom: thes ppl no how 2 pack a punch
Reg: Which people?
Mom: bio
Mom: met david
Mom: hes counting days bcause i saved him
Reg: Yeah, BioWare does good with the lightly tugging on the heart strings and then the ripping out of the heart.
Mom: im glad he’s happy
Mom: im going 2 win a war 4 him nd thse students

I feel like MomShep always has a heroic speech just waiting to be used.

Mom: queen of the girls couts
Mom: haha i said that once
Mom: she punched me
Reg: She has a point. Though the punching might be a bit intense.
Mom: y
Mom: there is no hug option
Reg: Because you’re hard ass Commander Shepard.
Mom: so
Mom: jack should get hugs

I think this just hammers the nail into the “queen of the girl scouts” title.

If, you know. The Girl Scouts were space commandos. With magic. And sniper rifles.

Mom: theres familiar thigns abuot these datathings
Reg: What kind of things?
Mom: not sure
Mom: soudns familiar
Mom: goin 2 orian hall 2 find instructor
Mom: lost 1 student
Mom: saved 2 others
Mom: going 2 shoot cerberus
Mom: jack
Mom: :-)
Mom: brb have 2 kill atlas

Jack!

Mom: Are they dragging that young man by his ankle?
Reg: Probably.
Mom: What’s wrong with these people?
Reg: Is that a rhetorical question, or do you require an answer?
Mom: I am going to put a bullet in Martin Sheen’s head! Not the actor, though, the guy he’s playing in this game.
Reg: I figured.
Mom: I just wanted to make sure we were clear on that. Stop eating your bagel up here.
Reg: But I want to watch you.
Mom: [headshots a Cerberus goon without zooming]
Reg: I’ll go downstairs.
Mom: I’m going to save these kids.

She scares me.

Mom: So because of the turian signal, I’m going to Grissom.
Reg: Not a bad choice.
Mom: Why is— [heavy sigh] There are new systems to scan.
Reg: At least it’s not as involved as ME2, right? And you get nifty and helpful things.
Mom: I know, but it’s just that I start going from one to the other and I lose track of which ones I’ve been to. Let’s take Beans and… Grandpa Javik.
Reg: …grandpa Javik.
Mom: He’s old enough. Fifty thousand years.
Reg: Grandpa Javik.
Mom: We just need to get him a cigar.

Grandpa. Javik.