BioWare According to Mom

Mom: Okay, so while we have a minute and I’m attempting to understand this… [deep breath] This is very twisted.
Reg: How so?
Mom: Genocide is always twisted. And I don’t think I can trust this kid as far as I can throw him. However…
Reg: However?
Mom: In nature, fires happen. Small fires are completely natural. And without them, a thick canopy would choke sunlight and prevent it from creating new growth. Plants on the ground would die, and animals would suffer. In a way… that’s what he’s doing. [taps fingers on desk] Are you writing this down?
Reg: Yes.
Mom: The whole internet is going to read it?
Reg: Not the whole internet.
Mom: Let me listen to more of what he has to say.

Mom: Let’s try these brutes again. Now that I know what’s going on. I can do this. [proceeds to kill them]
Reg: Watch out for the—
Garrus: Harvester!
Mom: Harvester? Whe—WHY IS IT LANDING ON ME?!
Reg: RUN AWAY!
Mom: WHY IS IT ALWAYS LANDING ON ME?!
Reg: KILL IT!
Mom: [kills it] Okay, so now missi—WHERE DID THAT BANSHEE COME FROM?

Okay so this is pretty amusing.

Mom: used teh laser thing on the reapr
Mom: and then the suits dropped a bom bon it but its not dead
Mom: there resilient
Reg: They live in deep space. They’d have to be.
Mom: y?
Reg: There’s no atmosphere to protect you from radiation in space for one. And it’s damn cold for another.
Mom: o that makes snes
Mom: ok
Mom: im going 2 shoot this thing more

Soon. Soon.

Mom: i liek scannig plants more in this game
Mom: its easier
Reg: It stresses me out.
Mom: u just bget bw things
Mom: click
Mom: find 1 thing
Mom: then u kno how many more u need
Mom: easy
Reg: Until the Reapers find you.
Mom: y
Mom: but its not hard 2 outrun tehm
Mom: u cant do it?
Mom: i will do it 4 u

:| I beat the game with a higher EMS than you’ll have leave me alone.

Mom: Reg? Honey? Are you getting up for work?
Reg: Mrglf?
Mom: It’s ten after seven.
Reg: WHY DID MY ALARM NOT GO OFF?! [bolts out of bed, gets clothes, goes to bathroom; returns to find Mom booting up computer] My alarm didn’t go off because it’s 6:40.
Mom: I just couldn’t wait. I want to see Beans.
Reg: Mom. I’m beginning to think Dad is right. You may have a problem.
Mom: No, I don’t.
Reg: Then we need to discuss boundaries.
Mom: Still my house.
Reg: [changes gears] Weren’t you going to Eden Prime?
Mom: I think it would be better to go there right before the end, don’t you? Returning to the place it all began.
Reg: You’re doing this to spite me.
Mom: Yep.

At this rate, I will need to move my desktop into her office.