BioWare According to Mom

Things my mother has to say about BioWare's Dragon Age and Mass Effect games, from text conversations to phone calls to observations.

Dragon Age
Female human noble rogue
Female city elf.
Tag :: Dragon Age According to Mom

Dragon Age 2
Female mage
Tag :: Dragon Age (2) According to Mom

Mass Effect
Female infiltrator
Tag :: Mass Effect According to Mom
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Posts tagged "reg's mom plays mass effect"

Mom: Anderson! [beat] You!
Reg: Wow, that was some venom, Mom.
Mom: Him. That—that— I will end you, Illusive Man. Is he pontificating at me?
Reg: Yes.
Mom: I suppose I should listen to his crazy rantings. I owe him that.
Reg: Maybe a little.
Mom: He’s out of his mind. He is completely lost it.

Mom: Well. This is gross. So they’re processing people at the Citadel?
Reg: I think so.
Mom: Look at me! I’m a wreck! Anderson! I need to find him.
Reg: A good choice.
Mom: Anderson, I’m coming for you. I’ll find you. I will find you.

Mom: Why aren’t I moving faster?! Look at me, I’m a disaster! Go, Shepard, go! [shoots husks] …why didn’t I have this gun before?

Mom: BEANS!
Reg: Garrus! EDI!
Mom: Come on, Joker, don’t let me down! Save my boyfriend. And your girlfriend! I picked the worst squad.
Reg: No.
Mom: Garrus, I— [selects love you option] Reg, I can’t handle this game.
Reg: Yeah, it’s brutal.
Mom: Come on, computer-me. We have to make this count. For Garrus. W—NO!

:|

Mom: HARBINGER.
Reg: What happened to indoor voices?
Mom: I lost mine sometime between a Harvester landing on me and a banshee shoving her arm through my chest.
Reg: Reasonable.
Mom: RUN FASTER SHEPARD! We have Reapers to destroy!

Mom: YES. [punches air] YES! Won! No thanks to those banshees showing up right on top of me! Okay, is this another calm spot? …are you laughing?
Reg: No. [is laughing]
Mom: Reg, you’re laughing.
Reg: Only because that’s how terribly that battle went fo—
Mom: Harbinger? [in perfect time with Shepard] I’m going to destroy hi—or go to the Citadel.

SOON.

Mom: Let’s try these brutes again. Now that I know what’s going on. I can do this. [proceeds to kill them]
Reg: Watch out for the—
Garrus: Harvester!
Mom: Harvester? Whe—WHY IS IT LANDING ON ME?!
Reg: RUN AWAY!
Mom: WHY IS IT ALWAYS LANDING ON ME?!
Reg: KILL IT!
Mom: [kills it] Okay, so now missi—WHERE DID THAT BANSHEE COME FROM?

Okay so this is pretty amusing.

Mom: Did you mean these brutes?
Reg: Naw there’s only two.
Mom: [turns around] THERE ARE NOT JUST TWO.
Reg: OH GOD YES I MEANT THOSE BRUTES.
Mom: THEY’RE EVERYWHERE!
Reg: RUN RUN RUN!
Mom: I CAN’T RUN I HAVE TO SHOOT THEM!

And then we died.

Mom: What do you mean it’s still too close? No, I don’t want that thing any closer! Reg this is horrifying!
Reg: Isn’t it stressful?
Mom: More of them?!
Reg: Wait until the brutes show up.
Mom: The brutes?!

Mom: So many Reaper things to kill!
Reg: There are a LOT of them.
Mom: …did that guy just say our big damn guns don’t work?
Reg: Uh. Yes.
Mom: I’ll just have to do it myself. Like on Rannoch! Commander Shepard saves the galaxy with a laser pointer!

Sort of. But not really.